I know, you've missed me

I thought I should probably let everyone in on what we've been up to the last little while.

I've been working like a crazy person (no surprises there). It actually hasn't been that bad the last week or so. The calm before the final storm, I think. I'm glad I love what I do or I'd be miserable. On we trudge toward April 15th.

Two weekends ago, Toby was blessed enough for me to allow him to fly to Vegas for the day to go to one of the BYU games at the Mountain West Conference Tournament with one of his mission buddies. He had a GREAT time. Do you think he took any pictures? That would be no. He's been sufficiently chastised for that. He and Brad had a blast at the games and took in a few of the sites along the strip. Can you believe Toby had never been to LV before? Hard to imagine, I know.

The day after he got back from that little trip, Toby took the kids to Utah for spring break with Kenlynne & her kids. They went to Moab and did a whole ton of hiking around Arches National Park. (At least, I think it's a national park - I could be making that up) They had a great time. They came home at the end of the week exhausted with their clothes and hair full of sand - which was great fun doing the laundry. I actually survived their absence and I stayed in my house ALL ALONE!!! Can you believe it?! Miracles can happen, apparently. And the house didn't get broken into and I didn't even get murdered or tortured by some psycho or anything!

I worked a lot while they were gone, but I had a little fun too. I had girls night out with my work friends which is always fun, and I went to dinner with my cute cousin, Katie who lives in QC (Queen Creek). One night I went out to eat with Kenlynne's husband, Glynn. That was an interesting evening. We go to dinner at Chili's and as we're walking out some guy in his ward is walking into the restaurant with his family. You should've seen the looks on their faces! Hilarious! They look at Glynn, look at me, look back at Glynn, the wife shoots me the evil eye. It was really funny. It won't be quite so funny when Glynn gets a call from his Bishop, but it will still be funny on my end!

Audrey has learned how to throw fits, which is a fun treat. If you take something from her or move something she's trying to get to, she will throw herself on the floor and cry. Not actual tears cry, just for show. And I still think it's adorable so I have to force myself not to laugh at her and just walk away. I really just want to pick her up and cuddle her and tell her how cute she is, but that wouldn't teach her anything, now would it. She has also started insisting she go to bed with either her stuffed bear or her angel doll that talks (one of our cute Catholic friends gave it to her when she was born and it says the Lord's Prayer . . . I think). It's always fun to start hearing the doll reciting "now I lay me down to sleep" at 3 am when she's rolled over on it. Is that part of the Lord's Prayer? Not sure on that one. She also LOVES to give people big hugs and slobbery kisses. She's so much fun!

Tysen still loves to read. He's starting to get into short chapter books and so I ordered a bunch of books I remember reading as a kid off Amazon. Heaven forbid I get a library card. Shopping online is so much more fun. The other night we started reading George's Marvelous Medicine (awesome book for little boys) and the deal at night is if he's in bed by 8 then I'll read him a chapter from whatever book we're reading and he can then read until he falls asleep. So I read the first chapter of the book and when I was done I shut it and he said "but mom, what happens next?" I told him he'd have to read more before he fell asleep or else we'd continue the next evening. His response, "but mom, you've already read it and I'm dying to know what happens now. Just tell me pleeeeeeeeease?" I remember feeling that way about books when I was a kid too so it made me feel all warm and fuzzy that he's an active little reader. The next morning he told me what happened in the next chapter, which he read before bed. Too cute!

Toby made me furious last night. Ok, you twisted my arm, I'll tell you why. So I started reading the Book of Mormon from the beginning again last week (yes, mom, I've read it before). And I was reading the chapter (1 Nephi 17 I think) where Nephi builds the ship to sail to the Promised Land and so I said "do you think the ship Nephi built was like a big sailboat". The response was a roar of uncontrollable, mocking laughter. He pointed out that 600 years BC they probably didn't have motorboats or yachts to sail the ocean. I'm not THAT stupid! I just had never pictured the boat in my mind before. I mean, was Noah's ark a sailboat? That's not how it's depicted in the art pieces I've seen. And we know the Jaredite barges were built to go underwater so they weren't sailboats either. How was I supposed to know Nephi's ship was a sailboat? I didn't think it was that dumb a question and I don't like being laughed at. I'm trying to decide if he's still in trouble or if I'm over it.

So that's what we've been up to. I'll try to post some pics from Toby & the kids' vacation when I get a chance. Which may not be until May, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Because I've had a hard few weeks at work

Here are a few things that have been bothering me of late:

1. If you refer to your annual accounting information as "the box" I can tell you before I even begin that I'm not going to be happy with you.

2. I don't know what it means when you say "give me the max" in reference to pretty much anything. I don't know what "the max" is and there's nowhere on any form issued by the IRS where I can check a box that says "the max"

3. If you bring in a years worth of accounting in "the box" 13 days before the filing deadline for your business tax return, don't say "we'll see you on the 15th". It's not gonna be done, honey. There are about 50 clients ahead of you who actually got us their info in a timely manner and it wasn't in "the box".

4. Let's just avoid any words containing the letter "X" and go from there. (i.e. box & max)

5. If you see me around (at church, the grocery store, etc) don't say "so, are you working a lot of hours this time of year?" Is that honestly a question that needs to be asked? I've considered packing a suitcase full of clothes, putting up a cot or hammock in my office, and washing up in the sink in the mornings - is that enough hours for you?

6. Probably a worse question is "it must be hard not to see your kids". Um, DUH YOU IDIOT!!!! My response is usually "well, it pays the bills" which is true, but the reality is I don't know what the proper response is to that comment without cursing.

7. If you make a hundred and something thousand dollars a year and your total charitable contributions for the year were a measly 50 bucks, I think you're a selfish jerk (I actually think you're something worse than that, but I'm trying to keep it clean - members of my ward read this blog after all). I know LDS people are a prone to give a little more than the average person to charity. That whole 10% thing. But there's got to be something you think it worthy of giving to. Cancer research, the Humane Society, a battered women's shelter, public education, Goodwill - SOMETHING YOU SELFISH JERK?!?!?!

On a lighter note, I'll share a couple of fun things about the kids. Audrey has now figured out how to unlatch the gate which we put up to keep her contained in the livingroom/kitchen area. She is obsessed with the gate being shut. If someone leaves it open, she goes over and pulls it shut and hooks the latch. Usually she ends up on the wrong side of it and goes exploring. At least it keeps the dog in one area of the house. She's so stinkin' cute!

The other day Tysen came over and gave me a hug. That was nice. Then he started Pillsbury Dough Boy poking me and said "mom, your belly is squishy - it feels like there's cotton inside - like the cotton at Build-A-Bear that goes in their bellies" Nothing like a 6 year old to make you feel like a million bucks. I took the opportunity to tell him it was his fault my belly felt like that because he lived in there and before that it wasn't squishy.

It's been 85 degrees every day for the last week and the weather is fantastic. Toby and the kids are going hiking over spring break in a few weeks and Kenlynne (Toby's fabulous sister) found an awesome baby hiking backpack thingy for 10 bucks at Savers (you know the big things with the metal frame and the baby seat in it that you strap to your back). It weighs next to nothing but it's big and comfy for Audrey. It's in perfect shape - I love a good deal! With the warm weather I have to retire my kids' winter clothes now after a whopping 6 weeks of them being worn. Which is fine because I LOVE shopping for new clothes for my kids! Out with the old and in with the new!

How do you know you're about to have a bad day?

This morning Tysen woke up entirely too early and came in to say hello. I'm what some would call not a morning person. In fact, I'm pretty much the Wicked Witch of the West before 10 am. So I promptly kicked him out of the room to watch cartoons downstairs. Man, do I love the inventor of the DVR. Turns out, an early wake-up call would be the least of my problems.

Later (I won't admit how much later) I was hurrying to get ready for church. Every once in a while I think it would be nice to get there on time. So I'm out of the shower and start drying my hair when my blow dryer starts making horrific noises and smoke begins to billow out of the back end of it. This can't be good. I just sort of went with it and about 30 seconds later there was a popping sound and it was gone.

This was actually my back-up blow dryer that normally resides under the sink downstairs. But since my sister visited last month and broke my main one, I've been using the back-up. Crap! Now the back-up has given up the proverbial ghost. So what do I do? I dig the box fan out of the depths of the closet, plug it in, turn it on high and try to maneuver myself in front of it in such a way that my hair might possibly get dry before I freeze to death. It was a grizzly sight. I ended up late to church with damp, uncurled hair and a smile. Don't ask me what the plan is for tomorrow morning. I shudder at the possibilities.

Juvenile delinquency here we come

Yesterday morning I got a phone call from Tysen's teacher. Again, the immediate worry is severe head trauma. If only I could be so lucky. This time she called to tell me Tysen has been acting up in class the last week or so. Here's a breakdown of the examples I was given:

1. The other kids were excited to listen to some CD one of the parents sent in. I think the Jonas Brothers were involved. Tysen said something to the effect of that being a dumb idea. Is this a problem I should be concerned about or be proud of my child being confident enough to voice an opinion in opposition to the masses?

2. Tysen has been somewhat unwilling to go to 1st grade reading group. After talking with him, I discovered that he has to miss recess to attend the reading group. Well, duh. He's 6. Of course he'd rather go to recess with his friends. Heck, I'd rather go to recess than read too!

3. At some point during the day, the classroom was quiet (I'm assuming quiet is a relative term when used in reference to a Kindergarten class room). Tysen apparently blurted out "holy crap!" Again, should I be worried about this or be grateful is wasn't some other choice 4 letter word?

We talked to him at length last night about our expectations of him at home and in class and he's been punished (no calling Grandma Day for a week). I'm still not sure what to make of the whole thing. Parenting isn't my strong suit. Any ideas?

What's so funny?

I happen to think my kid is freaking hilarious. And as such, I shall share.

A while ago I was asking him about his day at school and I asked him what he had for lunch and he said a hamburger and french fries and orange juice. Tysen has NEVER liked milk and I'm always worried about him getting enough dairy in his diet so I said "you know, you should try getting the chocolate milk (imagine a voice that would make the word 'chocolate' seem like winning the lottery). I'll bet it's yummy. Don't your friends get the chocolate milk?" His reply was, "well yeah, but the chocolate milk has 180 calories and the orange juice only has 90 so the orange juice is healthier". You've GOT to be kidding me. My kindergartener is counting calories. He definitely didn't learn that one from me.

I'll admit it, we watch a lot of tv. And by "we" I mean I watch a lot of tv. It's my vice. So the other night after dinner Tysen says "hey, do you want to play house?" A reasonable request. "Sure." I said. Then he says "ok, I'll be House and Dad can be Dr. Foreman - do you want to be Dr. Cameron or Cuddy? Audrey and Bonzai will be the patients" And here I was thinking he meant like a mommy a daddy and, if we were feeling really crazy, a tea party when he said "play house". The tv show was not my first thought. Silly kid.

Yeah, that's right - I'm crafty

Here is what we did for Tysen's Valentine's for school this year. Don't be too impressed - I found the idea online. It's supposed to look like an airplane, by the way. I made all the little gum wrappers and Tysen put them all together. When I got home from work last night he had an assembly line all set up. It was so funny.

Jerry, d'you know the human head weighs eight pounds?

Here is a list of things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I haven't figured out the answers to yet:

1. Is "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" just a children's song or is it specifically an LDS children's song? The same question applies to Hinges, Once There Was a Snowman, and Do as I'm Doing.

2. I went out to dinner with some girlfriends last night and they all got their beverages half price for happy hour. Why do I have to pay full price for my Sprite during happy hour? It's discrimination against the non-alcohol consumers.

3. Why do children ALWAYS repeat the things you'd really rather they didn't and never say the good things in public?

4. Why does the baby always poop when I'm rushing out the door to go to work in the morning - and in a fresh, clean diaper, no less.

5. Why do perfectly nice people like Jodie get moth infestations? (aka the spawn of Satan)

6. Why can't my sister blog about something BESIDES Obama?

7. Why does everyone feel so darn bad for all these people who bought houses they couldn't afford and/or took out HELOC's for more money than they could afford just so they could go on vacation (or some such nonsense). Sorry to be a b!*@# but I don't feel bad for stupidity. If someone unexpectedly lost their job, then that's a different issue and I would feel badly. But if your payment is going up because you didn't read the fine print and your mortgage broker was getting a bigger commission for selling you an ARM, then it's really your own fault. Do some research when you're entering 30 years of indebtedness, people!

8. Why do healthy, well-adjusted people (like some nameless to whom I'm related, Joanna) wake up one day and think, "hey, I think I could go for some good old-fashioned painful permanent scarring today - and I think I'd like to pay someone else for the pleasure". Say what you want about the artisanship or the ability to have an ever-present reminder of something important. I watched Miami Ink - I get it. But I still think tattoos are dumb. There's just nothing about intentional skin discoloration that would bring to mind the term "classy". Just wait till that cute little ladybug on your backside becomes a Brontosaurus 25 years and a few kids later. (the ladybug is just an example of a possible situation - I actually don't know anyone with a ladybug so please don't speculate about who I'm referencing as I'm not referencing anyone I know)

9. Why do stupid things stick with you for years and years? For instance, my first year in college I took Anatomy and they used a little saying to memorize the bones in the wrist. Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle. I remember that, but I don't remember the bones, which was the point of the saying. The brain is an interesting organ.

These are just a few things I don't have answers for in life, so if you could enlighten me, I'd greatly appreciate it. Or let me know something you haven't figured out. And if I pissed you off, please don't take anything on my blog personally. Just random Emily thoughts going on here.

I have a dream

I have a dream that someday, the shred-bin fairy will come along and empty my pathetically overflowing shred box into the main bin in the collating room so that I don't have to haul 70 pounds of paper down the hall. I have a dream.

What's bugging you? What's bugging you? Do you have a pesky pest?

I was tagged by Mare to write 10 things that bug me. I'm in a hurry and I can only think of 6 right now. These will be in no particular order since the level of irritation varies based on my mood. Pardon the work related ones since that's where I spend 60+ hours of my weeks right now.

1. When my husband leaves for work at 6 in the morning and then has B-Ball practice and then has to coach games and doesn't get home till 10 pm. It would be nice to see him once in a while.

2. When people write up journal entries with the credit column first. The debit column should ALWAYS come first - no exceptions. That really bothers me.

3. When clients think we don't need them to provide the information we're asking for. It goes like this "do you really need that?" or "I thought you'd know the answer to that". I'm sorry, I don't magically know what your medical expenses were for 2008. And yes, I really do need your W-2's. Unless, of course, you'd prefer to be audited, in which case, best wishes and please lose my phone number.

4. When my phone cuts out or drops a call - especially if I've been sitting on hold with the insurance company for 45 minutes before I even got to a live person in the first place and then I have to start the whole process over again.

5. When people in the grocery store or mall or wherever give you crusty looks when your kids aren't behaving like angels. Sorry folks, kids get grumpy when they're tired or hungry or just don't want to be trapped in the cart or stroller any longer.

6. The droves of old people who descend upon Phoenix in the winter who can't see, can't hear, and definitely can't drive.

I tag Marci, Janey, Tessa, Amanda and the Greenwoods (all of you). And anyone else who is bored - I don't like to leave people out.

Here's lookin' at you, kid(s)

I have to brag about my kids for just a minute. Why? Because they're wonderful - and it's my blog so I'll write what I want.

Last weekend, Audrey started walking! Finally, I know. She's 13.5 months old, but she's finally decided to walk. Just a little bit now and then. She is still in the stage where she prefers to crawl because that's what she's used to, but she is capable of walking. I'm sure in a week or so she'll be running circles around me and I'll be longing for the crawling era. She has also mastered crawling both up and down the stairs. Which is awesome because now I don't worry quite so much about severe head trauma.

Now, onto my little man, Tysen. His Kindergarten teacher called me the other day - which automatically made me nervous for fear he had severe head trauma or something of the like. The conversation started with the teacher saying, "obviously, Tysen is a very bright child". Hearty sigh of relief at no lasting brain injury. She told me that she believes our sweet boy is gifted. Which every mother believes of her own children, but to hear it from an educator just gives you that nice, warm, validated feeling. She told me that basically he's bored in class, especially during language and reading because he's beyond the capabilities of the other children. So now he's going with one of the first grade classes for the reading block of the day. He's reading chapter books (yes, he's 6) and so he'll probably be more advanced than most of the 1st graders too, but it'll be better.

She also pulled some strings to get him into the AR program (accelerated reading, not accounts receivable for all my accounting buddies). It's a program they almost never let Kindergarten age kids into, even very few 1st graders. So they give him books to read, he reads them several times, then he takes a computer-based test on the book. And she wants to have him tested for the school district's gifted program at the end of the year. I'm so proud of my little guy! He'd better grow up to be some kind of freakish genius and make a ga-zillion dollars and share with me!