Jerry, d'you know the human head weighs eight pounds?

Here is a list of things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I haven't figured out the answers to yet:

1. Is "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" just a children's song or is it specifically an LDS children's song? The same question applies to Hinges, Once There Was a Snowman, and Do as I'm Doing.

2. I went out to dinner with some girlfriends last night and they all got their beverages half price for happy hour. Why do I have to pay full price for my Sprite during happy hour? It's discrimination against the non-alcohol consumers.

3. Why do children ALWAYS repeat the things you'd really rather they didn't and never say the good things in public?

4. Why does the baby always poop when I'm rushing out the door to go to work in the morning - and in a fresh, clean diaper, no less.

5. Why do perfectly nice people like Jodie get moth infestations? (aka the spawn of Satan)

6. Why can't my sister blog about something BESIDES Obama?

7. Why does everyone feel so darn bad for all these people who bought houses they couldn't afford and/or took out HELOC's for more money than they could afford just so they could go on vacation (or some such nonsense). Sorry to be a b!*@# but I don't feel bad for stupidity. If someone unexpectedly lost their job, then that's a different issue and I would feel badly. But if your payment is going up because you didn't read the fine print and your mortgage broker was getting a bigger commission for selling you an ARM, then it's really your own fault. Do some research when you're entering 30 years of indebtedness, people!

8. Why do healthy, well-adjusted people (like some nameless to whom I'm related, Joanna) wake up one day and think, "hey, I think I could go for some good old-fashioned painful permanent scarring today - and I think I'd like to pay someone else for the pleasure". Say what you want about the artisanship or the ability to have an ever-present reminder of something important. I watched Miami Ink - I get it. But I still think tattoos are dumb. There's just nothing about intentional skin discoloration that would bring to mind the term "classy". Just wait till that cute little ladybug on your backside becomes a Brontosaurus 25 years and a few kids later. (the ladybug is just an example of a possible situation - I actually don't know anyone with a ladybug so please don't speculate about who I'm referencing as I'm not referencing anyone I know)

9. Why do stupid things stick with you for years and years? For instance, my first year in college I took Anatomy and they used a little saying to memorize the bones in the wrist. Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle. I remember that, but I don't remember the bones, which was the point of the saying. The brain is an interesting organ.

These are just a few things I don't have answers for in life, so if you could enlighten me, I'd greatly appreciate it. Or let me know something you haven't figured out. And if I pissed you off, please don't take anything on my blog personally. Just random Emily thoughts going on here.