The Lunch Lady

First off, let me confess that I am a hoarder. Not as bad as the ones you see on tv, but if it weren't for Toby forcing me to get rid of stuff, I would keep everything . . . forever. I guess I just like stuff.

I am also terrible with forming irrational emotional attachments to these items I desperately want to keep forever for no good reason. Now that I am re-reading this I sound like a freak. I guess I'm ok with that.

So probably 10 years ago I was at Old Navy in Orem, UT with my bestie, April and we bought these cute lunch boxes to be our scripture cases. Not sure why or where the idea came from, but we bought them nonetheless. So I've had this cute green lunchbox as a scripture case for over 10 years. I have no idea if April still has hers or if she would even remember what I'm talking about (my guess is no), but I remember it well and have continued using it all this time.

So this lunch box/scripture case reminds me of my bestest friend and also reminds me of a great time in my life: my first year in college, having some freedom, enjoying school, enjoying my job, enjoying my new life out of high school. And somewhere in the depths of my twisted psyche, the lunchbox represents that. Freedom, reckless abandon, fun and games, etc.

Fast forward to last week. Toby had a field trip for the Jr high to the Grand Canyon. He needed a lunch box for the first day of the trip and we couldn't find Tysen's insulated lunch box at the time and we were in a hurry. So I grabbed my scriptures out of the Old Navy lunch box and handed it to him with full expectation I would receive it back unharmed (or else he wouldn't have touched it).

Ten minutes later his lunch was packed in the box and sitting on the table waiting for him to take it with him. That's when I noticed that he WROTE HIS NAME ON MY BELOVED LUNCH BOX!!! WITH PERMANENT MARKER!!! He defiled the last remaining representation of a carefree and wonderful time in my life. And I can't fix it. It's permanent. He was in HUGE trouble (and still is).

The funny thing is, he is absolutely baffled as to why I'm so upset about a lunch box. It seems like a small thing, right? I mean, it's just a decade-old hunk of green canvas fabric and zippers, right? Well, to me it was more and now it's gone, much like that portion of my life.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my life. I love my husband, I love my kids, I love our home, I love my job. Things are wonderful, really. But I think we all have times we look back on with a certain fondness and a little sorrow that we'll never get to live thru again.

That's what the lunchbox is to me. The embodiment of times past I'll never get back, and friends I no longer see as often as I'd like to. I miss my lunchbox.