I was tagged by Mare to write 10 things that bug me. I'm in a hurry and I can only think of 6 right now. These will be in no particular order since the level of irritation varies based on my mood. Pardon the work related ones since that's where I spend 60+ hours of my weeks right now.
1. When my husband leaves for work at 6 in the morning and then has B-Ball practice and then has to coach games and doesn't get home till 10 pm. It would be nice to see him once in a while.
2. When people write up journal entries with the credit column first. The debit column should ALWAYS come first - no exceptions. That really bothers me.
3. When clients think we don't need them to provide the information we're asking for. It goes like this "do you really need that?" or "I thought you'd know the answer to that". I'm sorry, I don't magically know what your medical expenses were for 2008. And yes, I really do need your W-2's. Unless, of course, you'd prefer to be audited, in which case, best wishes and please lose my phone number.
4. When my phone cuts out or drops a call - especially if I've been sitting on hold with the insurance company for 45 minutes before I even got to a live person in the first place and then I have to start the whole process over again.
5. When people in the grocery store or mall or wherever give you crusty looks when your kids aren't behaving like angels. Sorry folks, kids get grumpy when they're tired or hungry or just don't want to be trapped in the cart or stroller any longer.
6. The droves of old people who descend upon Phoenix in the winter who can't see, can't hear, and definitely can't drive.
I tag Marci, Janey, Tessa, Amanda and the Greenwoods (all of you). And anyone else who is bored - I don't like to leave people out.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
What's bugging you? What's bugging you? Do you have a pesky pest?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Here's lookin' at you, kid(s)
I have to brag about my kids for just a minute. Why? Because they're wonderful - and it's my blog so I'll write what I want.
Last weekend, Audrey started walking! Finally, I know. She's 13.5 months old, but she's finally decided to walk. Just a little bit now and then. She is still in the stage where she prefers to crawl because that's what she's used to, but she is capable of walking. I'm sure in a week or so she'll be running circles around me and I'll be longing for the crawling era. She has also mastered crawling both up and down the stairs. Which is awesome because now I don't worry quite so much about severe head trauma.
Now, onto my little man, Tysen. His Kindergarten teacher called me the other day - which automatically made me nervous for fear he had severe head trauma or something of the like. The conversation started with the teacher saying, "obviously, Tysen is a very bright child". Hearty sigh of relief at no lasting brain injury. She told me that she believes our sweet boy is gifted. Which every mother believes of her own children, but to hear it from an educator just gives you that nice, warm, validated feeling. She told me that basically he's bored in class, especially during language and reading because he's beyond the capabilities of the other children. So now he's going with one of the first grade classes for the reading block of the day. He's reading chapter books (yes, he's 6) and so he'll probably be more advanced than most of the 1st graders too, but it'll be better.
She also pulled some strings to get him into the AR program (accelerated reading, not accounts receivable for all my accounting buddies). It's a program they almost never let Kindergarten age kids into, even very few 1st graders. So they give him books to read, he reads them several times, then he takes a computer-based test on the book. And she wants to have him tested for the school district's gifted program at the end of the year. I'm so proud of my little guy! He'd better grow up to be some kind of freakish genius and make a ga-zillion dollars and share with me!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
I'm a loser, baby - so why don't you kill me
Today I went on a hike with my family.
I'll give you all a moment to pick your jaws up off the floor . . .
Ready to go on? Ok. Toby got me to agree to this outing. I plan on seeking psychiatric help. We went to Kenlynne's house to get her, Glynn and Jaden. It was Glynn's idea to go in the first place. I'm formulating a plan to get back at him. So we drive up somewhere near the Superstition Mountains and park to go up this trail.
Before we left Kenlynne's I asked how hard the trail was. The response was something like "oh, it's supposed to be really easy - I've heard even toddlers are fine to take on this trail". Ok, so a small child can do it, I should be ok. Now, let me tell you that a toddler isn't a solid 60 pounds overweight and hasn't been eating fried foods for the last 27 years. I'm also working on a plot to get back at her. She has a milestone birthday at the end of this month. Hmm . . .
Moving on - Anyone who knows me will know that I'm not much of an outdoor person. My idea of hiking is the escalators in the mall. It makes me want to take a nap every time I watch Man Vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel. Way too much exertion going on there. This pastey white, blubber infested body was not meant to haul itself up the side of a mountain. This trail was NOT easy. And about half way up, when I thought heart explosion was imminent, I stopped. I'm sitting on a rock on the side of a mountain wheezing and I literally couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to die. So I told the others to move on and I went back down the trail to wait at the bottom.
My six year old wasn't even tired when we went home, and I thought I was going to die. Seriously, how freaking pathetic is that?!?!? Something HAS to be done about this. The next time I have an increased fit of stupidity and go hiking with them, I really don't want to fall down dead in front of my children. I also don't want to face the embarrassment of having to leave the group and wait at the bottom again. It was so humiliating to not feel able to complete the task. I was having flashbacks of my first year at Girls Camp as a Beehive and huffing and puffing the whole way on the hike when everyone else was laughing and chatting and singing. No wonder I only went to GC one year.
Here's the pic of me at the bottom of the mountain when the certainty of death had passed.
And here is one of the MANY cacti that waited with me. 
The moral of this story is that I really can't let myself be ambivalent about my weight anymore. For the most part, it doesn't bother me to be a fatty. I'm still a smart, successful, loving person with a fabulous hubby, the best kids on the planet, a job I love, a roof overhead, and a few bucks in the bank. Being fat doesn't affect any of those things. So I don't give it that much thought that I'm likely approaching toxic cholesterol levels. I think the fact that I don't mind being fat is one of the reasons that I am. Maybe if it bothered me, I'd do something about it. Well, folks, today I'm bothered. Here's hoping I can keep this horrific experience somewhere in the back of my mind the next time I'm craving Taco Bell. Darn you, Cheesy Double Beef Burrito! You are my nemesis!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
You've had a birthday, shout Hooray!
Grandma Day sent a super fun puzzle that makes noise (noise is Audrey's favorite thing, if there's not enough in the house, she will take it upon herself to compensate for it personally)
Why didn't we start with this?
This isn't from her birthday, but it's a cute pic of her playing on the treadmill at Kenlynne's. The treadmill is her favorite toy. And how stinkin cute is that sweater with the sparkly skirt?! Gotta love Target!
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I would just like to take this opportunity to thank whoever placed the GINORMOUS fake PENIS in our driveway this morning. We really had quite a good chuckle finding it when we came home from church today.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
No crocodiles or rhinoceroses I only like hippopotamuses
A couple of my coworkers recently introduced me to this song. I hate Christmas music, but I found this amusing the first time I heard it. Naturally some techy posted a video for it on you tube which I hijacked.
Monday, December 8, 2008
What have you done for me lately?
I got this tag from Janey. Thanks Janey! Keep blogging! And I thought I would let you all know I'm trying a new feature with my blog. That phraseology made it sound cool, but it's really not that interesting. I just decided that all of my blog titles will be lines from songs or movies. Anyone pick up Janet Jackson on this one? So if you know the artist or movie in the future, leave it in a comment so I know you're reading.
I don't expect anyone to be this interested in my life so feel free to pass on reading it. Rules are: Anything you have done has to be in bold. How much have you done?
1. Started your own blog - um, duh
2. Slept under the stars - I think I have, on the trampoline in the backyard growing up, but my admission of this in no way means I like to camp.
3. Played in a band - no musical bones in this body
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower - I'm a night owl, this happens at night
6. Given more than you can afford to charity - does 10% tithing plus fast offerings count?
7. Been to Disneyland - is it pathetic that the answer is no on this one?
8. Climbed a mountain - contrary to popular belief I actually did go to girls camp one year
9. Held a Praying Mantis - eww
10. Sang a solo - I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who attended my sister's mission farewell. She hated me and singing was my punishment, I think.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning - I get food poisoning like twice a year - I have weak bowels (was that TMI?)
17. Been to the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an train
21. Had a pillow fight - jr high slumber parties ring any bells?
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - everyone should do this, especially if you're going to lose the sick time if you don't take it
24. Built a snow fort - the winter I was 9 it snowed so much and the maintenance guys who plowed our driveway piled it all up at the end and my friends and I dug tunnels and stuff in it. It was awesome!
25. Held a lamb - I have kids and we've been to the petting zoo
26. Gone skinny dipping - don't ask, don't tell
27. Run a Marathon - are you kidding me right now? have you seen my midsection? not conducive to that kind of rigorous activity
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset - is this a trick question? Unless you live under a rock, you've seen one of these.
31. Hit a home run - how about kicked a home run? I was quite a kickball player in elem school. These thighs were good for something once.
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - If Draper, Utah counts then yeah
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language - I can barely speak English
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - does anyone?
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - does it count that I ran into the missionaries a few weeks back at Little Caesars and paid for their pizza before they had a chance?
44. Visited Africa - um, no thanks
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight - not by moonlight, but at sunset - it was beautiful!
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud - surprising, in know
54. Gone to a drive-in theater - please don't ask for details
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - I've bought a lot of them - love those thin mints
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason - I had a friend in HS who always used to give me flowers - he was always so sweet to me. Thanks, Josh!
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - let's not get into the details on this one
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check - it wasn't my fault, I swear!
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - or 50 childhood toys? you should see my garage. Anyone need any Barbies circa 1986? Some are missing body parts, but I find that irrelevant.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - DC was my favorite trip I've ever been on - besides my honeymoon
71. Eaten Caviar - eww
72. Tied a quilt - more than I can count
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job - let's not talk about it
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone - fell from a heelstretch liberty stunt cheering my sr year and broke my wrist
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - thanks, Uncle George - I'm glad I'm alive
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - surprisingly, I saw it when I was a kid. I live in AZ, perhaps we should make a jaunt
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - front page of the Manti Messenger, not that it's much to brag about
85. Read the entire Bible - not the whole thing, but I think I read the whole Old Testament. I totally went to seminary my Freshman year
86. Visited the White House - again, DC is AWESOME
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - eww
88. Had chickenpox - sidenote story: my mom was taking me to the dr when I had chickenpox (I was 3) and the truck got a flat tire and I didn't have shoes on so mom was carrying me down the freeway. Some really scary guy with a huge nasty beard and a 70's style van with curtains in the back windows pulled over and was insisting we get in his van and my mom was FREAKING OUT. Luckily, a friend of hers drove by and saw us and picked us up. It was totally straight out of a Lifetime movie.
89. Saved someone’s life - I've GIVEN 2 people their lives, I think that should count for something
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club - not much of a reader
93. Lost a loved one - grandparents
94. Had a baby - TWICE
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - eww
97. Been involved in a law suit - I rear-ended some lady 2 weeks after I got my license going like 2 miles per hour and she tried to sue me/my parents. It was a joke. I also had to testify during proceedings involving a former boss and one of his clients.
98. Owned a cell phone - does anyone not?
99. Been stung by a bee - lucky for me, I'm not allergic
100. Visited Italy
Now I tag Candice (because she thinks she's not cool enough for me to tag her), Joanna (because she hates being tagged and probably won't do it), and Jenn (because it's been too long since she updated her blog.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Doctor, doctor give me the news
Warning: This is a long one.
Aside from a fantastic Thanksgiving, the rest of the last week has been pretty horrendous. Last Tuesday, as I was getting ready for work, Tysen came in and said "I itch". I was like "what do you mean you itch". It's a weird complaint, right? He said is back itched and I pulled up his shirt, saw nothing, and told him to get his backpack ready for school. I dropped him off at school, then Audrey at the babysitter's, and headed off to work.
About 15 minutes after I walked into work my phone rang. Sure enough, it was the school nurse telling me to come pick up Tysen because he had hives. HIVES!!! Now, here I am thinking, oh great, they must think I'm the mother of the year for sending my kid to school with hives. So I leave work and go to the school (where I had just been 30 minutes earlier dropping him off).
Now, I had never seen hives before. I imagined some small, possibly 1/4 to 1/2 inch diameter reddish bumps on the skin. Not so much. They were HUGE!!! Lesson #1: hives are irregular in shape and can vary in size as well. So it's true what they say, you do learn something new every day. He had a reasonably sized hive on his back and the nurse said it was probably an allergic reaction and to give him Benadryl and call the doctor.
I called the doctor and scheduled an appointment for an hour later. I was at Basha's getting gas and needed to pick up a few things to Thanksgiving anyway, so I decided to run in and get those items rather than go home for a few minutes before heading to the doctor. By the time we got out of the store, his hives were completely gone. Whaaa? So I called the doctor's office back and cancelled the appointment since they were gone. I ran some errands, picked up some Benadryl, and finally made it home.
I gave him the medicine and laid down on the sofa while he watched cartoons. Of course, I fell asleep. He woke me up a while later and said his back itched again. I lifted up his shirt and there were hives EVERYWHERE!!! Lesson #2: hives can, and do, come and go without warning. I took a couple of pictures with my phone this time in case I decided to take him to the doctor later so I would have some evidence if they went away again. Like I said, this pic was taken with my phone so it's not the best photo in the world. Gross, right?
Various parts of his body looked like that off and on from Tuesday until Friday. We did everything we could to eliminate his itching. Lesson #3: a lukewarm bath with 1/2 cup cornstarch and 1/2 cup backing soda will help itchy skin - Aveeno also makes an oatmeal bath treatment which is helpful - milk of magnesia (aka Mylanta) can be rubbed on to cool the skin and alleviate itchiness and Calamine lotion is worth it's weight in gold. Lesson #4: 2 days before Thanksgiving Wal-Mart will be out of cornstarch because of prepared gravy-makers.
We did a decent job of keeping the itching at bay and pumped his poor system full of Benadryl every 4 hours. I did the Black Friday shopping and called from Kohl's as soon as the doctor's office opened to schedule an appointment. Toby took him to the doctor and he basically told us what we already knew, that he probably had an allergic reaction to a cough medicine we had given him the weekend before and it would run it's course, probably in a matter of 5-7 days, but could possibly last up to 4 weeks.
FOUR WEEKS?!?!?!? I can't take 4 weeks of this. The doctor gave Toby samples of the allergy medication Allegra to use instead of Benadryl to see if that would be more effective. And it really was more effective at keeping the hives away. HOWEVER, every time Tysen took the Allegra, he would start throwing up a few hours later (which is always awesome at 2 in the morning and so much fun when he doesn't make it to the toilet). Lesson #5: you can be allergic to an allergy medication. Seems ironic, doesn't it.
The doctor said we could also use Claritin or Zyrtec if we ran out of the Allegra samples so Toby went and picked up some of both today (the ox, was in the mire, OK? I know it's Sunday and we shouldn't be buying things). We gave him the Zyrtec (because it was the more expensive, which should mean it's a better product, right?) and, knock on wood, he's been fine ever since. No hives, no vomiting, no stomach aches, no itching. And hopefully I'm done learning lessons on this one. Halle-freaking-lujia!!!
The giving of thanks
We had a nice Thanksgiving this year. Last year was our first Thanksgiving in Arizona and we were here with our little family all alone since I was too prego to travel (refer to horribly embarrassing picture below). So we spent Thanksgiving last year at the zoo before indulging in a meal covered in gravy. We decided that would become our new family tradition and it's a great one!
Thanksgiving 2007 Emily, Tysen, unborn Audrey, and zebras
We went to the zoo on Thursday morning and there was this mysterious liquid substance falling from the sky. We only see this phenomenon a few times each year so it's a little bit of a novelty each time it happens. When we got to the zoo it was just stopping. By the time we had been there about 20 minutes the clouds broke and there was no rain the rest of the day. It was BEAUTIFUL!!!
Our human GPS system (aka Tysen) enjoyed holding the map and telling us which way we needed to go to see the next exhibit more than he liked seeing the animals themselves. He did enjoy petting the shark and stingrays though and he was anxious to see the jaguar for some reason. He liked brushing the goats in the petting zoo and walking with the wallabies and having the monkeys scamper right in front of him in the monkey village. He had a great time.
It was Audrey's first trip to the zoo and like the great mother that I am, I forgot to bring my camera. Luckily for me (I think) she could not have cared less about any of it and was just happy to ride around in her stroller for 3 hours and eat crackers. She such an easygoing child, it amazes me. The only real reaction she had to anything was to the goats in the petting zoo. Toby put her right up next to one of the goats and she just looked at it disgustedly and looked back at Toby. He tried to put her hand on it and she yelled at him. She wasn't scared, she just didn't want any part of it. Children develop their own personalities so early in life.
My other child (Toby) was as happy as a clam. He acts like a kid every time we go to the zoo. He LOVES the zoo. It's so funny. He also enjoyed the shark and stingrays. It's not a trip to the zoo unless Toby gets to see EVERY animal there and he did. He especially likes the orangutans and they have a baby one here which is about the most adorable thing you've ever seen. We saw it last year too. and I got a pretty cute photo of the little guy.
After the zoo, we ran home and finished up the stuffing, sweet potatoes, and green bean casserole. We took all the hot food and the pies I made the day before over to Kenlynne's house and had a fantastic smoked turkey dinner. We, as is the tradition, ate too much and then each person got to participate in their pastime of choice, napping, playing games, or watching football. It was such a nice, relaxing day and wonderful to spend the whole day with my hubby and kids. Those days can be hard to come by so I was grateful to have it!
We had adequately respected "the bird" so we put our Christmas tree up on Friday. We went with silver and red this year. We have a funky red star that is kinda tacky but I love it! We have a staircase banister you can see from our living room where we draped pine-esque garland and hung the stockings. We put up the outside lights on Saturday and I'm happy to announce no one died in the process. It was touch and go for a while there. The only casualty was one of our roof tiles.
I'm so proud of how festive our house looks! It was so much fun decorating a new house this year! It's actually the first time we've ever put up outside lights. I would post pictures, but our little camera that could is going the way of the earth after serving us well for 6 long years. Santa is having a new one delivered via UPS in 7-9 business days, though so I'll take some pics then. Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving!
