Marcel, did you poo in the shoe?

What is it that is so difficult for the male gender to understand about shoes? It's a girl thing, ok? Just deal with it.

I'm pretty sure in our 8+ years of marriage, I have received more eye-rolls over shoes than any other topic. I've also heard the phrase "You bought ANOTHER pair of shoes?!" more times than I care to remember. I have a thing for shoes. You know, me and 80% of the female population. At least I know I'm not alone.

You see, not long ago, I came home from Dillards with these beauties. Cute, right? A very practical peep toe Jessica Simpson pump with a 4 inch heel. The response from my better half was "why do you NEED another pair of shoes?" Um, excuse me? What is this NEED you speak of? There is no NEED. Since when is that a prerequisite for purchasing footwear?

However, I tried my best to explain that I would, indeed, get quite a bit of use out of these new additions to my growing collection. I wear a lot of items that call for a black shoe and in Arizona, an open toe is acceptable year-round. Not to mention I work in a professional environment and wear heels 5 days a week.

Toby's rebuttal to my valid argument was, I felt, rhetorical. He said "what about the 5 other pairs of black heels in the closet". Oh, honey. Honey, honey, honey. He simply can't understand can he? It's that pesky Y chromosome.

I took a deep breath and explained that while I do own 5 other pairs of black heel, they are all slightly different.

I have a pair of black leather kitten heel sandals with a cute silver buckle detail. They are very acceptable with a longer skirt and I quite often wear them with dress pants because of their height. They look just like these only black.
I picked up a knock-out pair of Paris Hilton black stilettos on sale at Kitson last winter seen here. As you can tell they are TOTALLY different than the Jessica Simpson ones I purchased more recently. They have a closed toe and that cute gem detail on the toe. To be honest, I've never actually worn them out of the house because they kill my feet, but I love them all the same!

Then there are my closed toe patent leather ones with the gold buckle that are not too high and not too low. And who doesn't love a patent leather shoe?
Then there's the pair I bought as an homage to my Grandma Smith. They are a rounded toe Mary Jane with a funky hourglass shaped heel. My Grandma had multiple pairs of Mary Janes with a funky heel. Don't mock me. I love these shoes!
My personal favorites are a pair I bought at Nordstrom at least 5 years ago. They are really high, have a peep toe and are slingbacks with a crocodile textured leather. They are by far the most comfortable shoes I own. I adore them.
After these same lengthy and valid arguments, Toby respectfully waved his white flag and surrendered. I'm hoping he remembers this little episode the next time I bring home something in an animal print.

My baby boy

Every year in October I always think about when Tysen was born. FYI, he was born in October. I'm not one of those great mothers who keep journals or write my children letters as they grow up. Instead, I normally embarrass them to tears.

But since I always think about that time 7 years ago this time of the year, I'll share a few of those memories with the world wide web. I mean, why not? Warning you will probably not be interested in this at all so don't feel remotely obligated to read on.

Toby and I were SO excited when we found out we were going to have a baby. I was home alone one morning when I took the test and I called Toby immediately and told him he had to come home at once. We were young and still in school at the time so he skipped his first class that morning and came home. He was elated. I was terrified.

We told our parents right away, since that's what you do with your first child. I think Toby's parents were excited. I think my parents envisioned another human, this time an infant on the "payroll" since we were young, stupid & poor.

It felt like I was pregnant FOREVER. When I had the ultrasound to find out the gender, my mom and Toby were there with me. I even remember what I was wearing, black pants and a blue wrappy shirt. How silly is that? We were all thrilled to find out we were having a boy! We would have been thrilled either way, but Toby was secretly wishing for a boy. My mom and I cried, as we always do.

I remember the first time I felt him move in my tummy. I was at the Tabernacle in Logan for an event for my brother, Steve. I was coming out of the restroom and I felt him move. It was so strange feeling to me. I remember what I was wearing that day as well. A black dress with big pink flowers on it.

I go into the next part at the risk of sounding like a horrible person. Consider yourself warned. People always say that they love their baby from the moment they find out they're pregnant. That they feel this impenetrable bond with a child they've never met. Suffice it to say, I didn't feel that way. I felt more like a host to a parasite. I felt sick literally every day I was pregnant. Tysen had the hiccups A LOT while in utero and one time I remember waking Toby up in the middle of the night crying and asking him to "make him stop" because he'd had hiccups for like 3 hours strait and I couldn't sleep. I'm sure I was a total prego-nazi.

The Sunday before he was born, I thought my water broke so we headed to the hospital. It was just the mucus plug, but my blood pressure was high so they told me to call my doctor in the morning. I did and I went to see the doctor Monday afternoon. I was only dilated to a 1, which had been the case for a couple of weeks already. My blood pressure was still high and I was just a week before my due date so the doctor schedule an induction for the next morning.

I was TERRIFIED! The doctor suggested we get a good night's rest since it would be a while before that was an option again. Um, yeah, right! We went to eat at some fancy pizza place for our last night out as a childless couple. We tried to sleep that night and after a few hours of both of us tossing & turning, we went into the living room and played video games for the rest of the night.

Tuesday morning, we arrived at the hospital early. It had gotten cold all of a sudden overnight. We got checked in and I got the pitocin. By the time we got to the hospital, I was dilated to a 4. I had been a one just 12 hours prior in the doctor's office. They told me he probably would have been born that day even if I hadn't been induced.

About 3 contractions after the pitocin kicked in, I was begging for the epidural. Yeah, I'm a wimp. I have no shame about it. The knight in shining armor, I mean the anesthesiologist came and whipped his giant needle out of it's sheath. My mom promptly left the room. After that I was nice & comfy. I actually slept most of the day. Toby's mom and dad had come and my mom and dad were there too. Just all of them with Toby waiting in the giant hospital room for Tysen to be born.

The monitors showed my contractions were plenty strong and I was dilating, but Tysen wasn't dropping like he should have been. He was also turned around facing the wrong way. Not breech, but he was face up - or face down, I can't remember which one is the right way. Whichever one is right, he was the other way.

Each time I had a contraction, his heart rate would drop dangerously low. They let us go as long as they could and the doctor finally said he had to be born ASAP and went to have the OR prepped for a C section. By the time he came back about 15 minutes later, Tysen had dropped, the doctor was able to turn him around, and they had me start pushing.

I only pushed for about 20 minutes when his heart rate dropped again. For some reason, the knight in shining armor (aka the anesthesiologist) had come back and the doctor had him push down from above while the doctor pulled and I pushed. Tysen came out all at once with the cord wrapped twice around his tiny neck. The doctor took care of that and Tysen was absolutely fine. He didn't even need any oxygen or anything. He was perfect. As soon as the doctor haded him to me my first words were "isn't he pretty?" The doctor told me I might have to find some different terminology when he was marching onto the football field.

After that, they drugged me so much for the blood pressure issues that I remember very little for the next 36 hours. I remember Toby and my mom leaving the room to call family members and it was just me and my dad in the room. My dad was holding Tysen sitting in a rocking chair and Tysen kept sticking out his tongue. It was almost like he was tasting the air or something. My dad just did it right back to him, sticking his tongue out too saying it was their first game they played together.

While I was pregnant, I thought that as soon as he was born, I'd have that flood of emotion and I'd feel all the love and bonding that had been promised while I was pregnant. Well, not so much. I loved him and I was happy to have him here, in this world. But, well, it was just weird.

I remember one time the day we left the hospital, I was still in bed and mom and Toby were out of the room (no idea where they kept disappearing to) and I was alone with the bassinet in the room. He was sleeping and I remember looking at him and thinking "they're going to make me take him home" and I was horrified.

What was I supposed to do with a baby? I didn't know anything about babies! I'd never even held a newborn until he was born. How was I gonna do this? I don't know what either of us would have done without Toby and my mom. Mom was a huge help! And Toby is so natural and good with kids, even infants. He was (and is) the most amazing father. Seriously.

Tysen and I got used to each other again, without sharing a body. Within a couple of weeks, I couldn't imagine my life without that child. It's been that way ever since. He is so amazing. He is hilarious, brilliant, gentle, fun, and loving. I adore that boy like nothing else in the world! And, in the words of my mom and dad, I'm so glad he's mine!

15 minutes of fame

The local Fox news came to Tysen's school today. If you watch it, he appears at the 1:57 mark when the weather forecast is up and he's just above Saturday. So now all his friends at school think they're famous cuz they were on tv.

The best new show on television

There are so many reason I love Glee. Here are a couple of them:


'Glee' Clip: Single Ladies


'Glee' Sneak Peek: Gold Digger

Seriously, who wouldn't love this show. It's freaking HILARIOUS!

The RM

In this case, I'm referring the the concept of the "Random Memory". I have these rather often. Out of the blue, I'll remember something that the file folders in my brain held onto over the years and decided to spew out without notice. I've always thought "hey, I should write that down" but I never do, so now I'm going to blog them. And so I bring you the story I like to call The Sack of Love.

It was fall of the year 2000. I was in college at Snow and one of my closest friends from childhood had also come to Snow. We'll call her Angie (name has been changed). One evening, Angie's roommate called me at home (still lived with the 'rents at the time) and said there was something terribly wrong and I had to come right away. Sensing something serious, I told my mom and dad and we all jumped in dad's car to drive to Angie's apartment.

I walked into Angie's room and saw her writhing on the floor in pain. Bad . . . really bad. She told us she was having excruciating pain in her abdomen. Then, trying to downplay the situation, she said "oh, it's not that bad" and tried to stand up. She let out a shriek and was back on the floor in less than a second. Again, bad . . . really bad.

My dad picked her up, put her in the car and we drove her to the hospital 30 minutes away. For some reason, I also remember that another of Angie's roommates had a radio show on the college radio station and her show was on during our drive. She was playing the Spice Girls. Not an integral part of the story, but hey, it's my memory and I'll remember whatever I want.

We get to the hospital in Gunnison and Dr. Inoye (selling?) was working in the ER that night. For those of you not from Sanpete County, Dr. Inoye is an extremely intelligent and efficient physician, but his bedside manner is, well, crappy. Smiles from Dr. Inoye? Not so much.

So we get her checked in, my mom called her parents, etc. They did an X-ray of her abdomen and we waited a while. She was all in her gown and everything and, as was customary for Angie and I, we were keeping things light and not serious even though we felt like something was really wrong. They were talking about her appendix, spleen, cysts, performing ultrasounds, MRI's, all kinds of stuff.

Eventually, Dr. Inoye comes back . . . with a smile. Wha??? We're waiting intentfully for the dire news, when he explains, while trying desperately to keep a strait face and stifle his laughter, that Angie is just constipated. He even showed us the evidence on the X-ray. Never knew poop would show up on one of those. CONSTIPATED?!?!?! Are you freaking kidding me? All this hullabaloo for a bowel movement? We all burst into laughter. Well, all except Angie who was still in a great deal of pain.

The doctor explained that the only way to relieve her symptoms is for her to go, if you know what I mean. So the nurse wheels in one of those attractive portable thrones and proceeds to set up for a "procedure". Angie is asking what's going on and the nurse explains she will be giving Angie and enema. To which Angie responds "Oh, no, honey. I'm sure you don't get paid enough to have to stick that thing where it needs to go. Why don't you take a little break. My friend, Emily, will help me out with that." WHAT?!?!?! I thought she was joking. She wasn't.

We proceed into the restroom (she also didn't want to do it in the porta-john), which luckily are good sized in hospitals. Angie is holding whatever it is that gets inserted, and I'm holding a ginormous bag of saline which is attached to what she's holding. The nurse showed me the line on the bag where it should be emptied to before we were finished. Gee, thanks. The doctor is hanging around outside the door, I'm sure wondering just what kind of close "friendship" we had going on.

As the "procedure" progressed, I was, as mentioned before, holding the saline sack. There were various noises coming from a number of Angie's orifices and we both could not contain our laughter. Apparently, whenever I laughed, I would inadvertently squeeze the sack, which would make Angie squeal, which would make me laugh, which would make me squeeze the bag some more, which would make Angie scream, and so forth. Seriously, it was freaking hilarious. I wished there had been two potties in the restroom because I nearly peed my pants laughing so hard.

Suffice it to say, the "procedure" did what it was meant to do, my mom and dad took care of the paperwork, Angie stuffed her pride in her "personal belongings" bag, I had a great story to share, and we made it home.

And that, my friends, is the Sack of Love story. Because, had I not loved Angie enough, I never would have been in the bathroom with her holding the enema saline sack.

Have you ever gone above and beyond (or below and beyond, as the case may be) for a friend?

Never say never

My 10 year high school reunion is next weekend. I'll spare you doing the complicated mathematics - that means I'm 28 years old. For some reason, having a reminder of how long it's been since I was a minor makes me remember of all the thinks I thought I would accomplish at that age. And, surprisingly, there are many things on my end-of-high-school-life's-to-do-list that I have been able to accomplish.

There's also that informal list I always kept filed away in the recesses of my brain of things I would NEVER EVER do. But let's be honest, I've done them. So here is the Reader's Digest version of the list of things that as recently as 10 years ago I said I'd never do and now I have.

I said I'd never . . .

• get fat (what's this 'exercising' you speak of?)
• yell at my kids (alright, I'm not the perfect mom as you all believed)
• have my kids behave badly at the grocery store (obviously, my kids aren't perfect either, dang it)
• yell at my husband (no one in this house is perfect)
• tell my husband I wanted to kill him (with only the most affectionate use of sarcasm, of course)
• let my kids wear 'crocs' (I still think they're fugly, but the kids love 'em & they're cheap so I've caved)
• stop coloring my hair lighter (it's SOOO dark against my transparently white skin when it's the natural color, which I've now gone back to)
• take an accounting class (how lame do you have to be to take accounting . . . oh, wait)
• wait for/write to a missionary (kinda, sorta, we're going with it)
• learn to like Ikea (yes, I've converted - darn those great prices!)
• purchase clothing at Wal-Mart (come on, we've all done it)
• move away from my parents (anyone remember that apartment my dad paid for for an entire school year that I refused to move into in college? good times)
• have any need for products like Metamucil & Preparation H (come on mommies, don't pretend you don't know what I talkin' about)
• go more than 2 days without shaving my legs (as long as it's not long enough to braid, I don't see an issue)
• be super paranoid about safety & security like my mom (totally, totally guilty - it's normal to check the locks 18 times each night, right?)
• live somewhere hot (Toby told me Phoenix was only mildly warmish)
• can my own fruit, salsa, sauces, etc. (isn't that something grandmas do?)

Anyone else fail to live up to your "I Said I'd Never"s?

Our personal ad

No one really wanted to see pics from our vacation to Utah, right? Didn't think so.

If you read my random thoughts on facebook, you'll know I'm in the market for new friends. We've lived in AZ over 2 years now and the only people we hang out with is my SIL Kenlynne's family. We ADORE them, but they're likely getting sick of us calling twice a week, so I've decided we should probly branch out a little.

So, unbeknownst to my husband, we are going to begin dipping into the couples dating pool. And I don't mean that in a dirty way - we're not swingers or anything. But I consider making new couple friends as complicated as dating.

Think about it for a minute. I have to find a gal I enjoy talking with about various subject matter. To be honest, that's not that difficult since I like most people and I assume most people like me. Maybe I'm wrong, but for the sake of this post, we'll assume people generally don't think I'm totally heinous. So this step is the easy part.

Next, Toby has to be able to hang out with the gal's significant other, typically the husband. Again, Toby's a pretty easygoing guy so it's not that hard to find someone he likes to talk to. HOWEVER, Toby is what I would call antisocial. I'm a people person. Toby . . . not so much. I look forward to getting together with friends on the weekends. He doesn't. I would love to have parties at our house twice a month. He'd rather be shot. Anytime we do go anywhere or have people over (which is rare) he does enjoy it, but it's like pulling teeth to get him to agree with the plan in the first place. It's a little tricky. But pretty much anyone who can even remotely be bothered to watch a BYU game, he's all for.

Beyond that hurdle, I have to at least tolerate being around the other guy and Toby has to think the other girl is not a total idiot. Meshing 4 personalities is surprisingly difficult. This is all before you even approach the topic of finding things to do together that you all enjoy and doesn't cost a ton of money because, let's face it, who has the money to go out and do elaborate things each week. And, if you're not on a similar economic footing, it gets more complicated because if the other couple is rolling in the dough, we will feel like idiots for having what I would call an average income.

So, after I like the girl and Toby likes the guy, and I like the guy and Toby likes the girl, and I get Toby to leave the house or get him to unbarricade the front door for 10 minutes to let people in, and we all find something to do that we enjoy that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and the other couple doesn't make 6+ figures a year, THEN you have to factor in children. Our kids go to bed at 8 and then I'm on house arrest. They need to go to bed at 8 and so that's what we do. I, however, do not need to go to bed at 8. Furthermore, everyone else who has kids is pretty much out of commission after the 8:00 mark too.

So then, if you find the TIME to do something you previously determined you all enjoy that doesn't cost a lot of money, and it can happen before 8 pm, it's helpful if the other couple has kids the same or similar ages to my kids. If Tysen's bored, it ain't pretty. So now, we add 2 more people (my kids) and some other number of kids (the other couple's kids) to the list of humans that need to get along with one another and co-mingle in a positive way.

Seriously, this is too much work. So, if you're interested in us as couple friends, here's our personals ad for couple's dating:

MWC (married white couple) seeking CILTR (couple in long term relationship, marriage not a prerequisite) W~2K (with approximately 2 kids) preferred. We enjoy pina coladas (virgin) and long walks on the beach. We don't do stuff on Sundays (being Mormon and all). We're into sports, especially BYU football, but nearly any sport will do (and NASCAR is not a sport under our definitions) University of Utah fans need not call. Must be able to handle strong sarcastic undertones to nearly every communication. Good sense of humor required. For a good time call Emily's phone (cuz we all know Toby won't answer)

I got to take myself a permanent vacation

It's long overdue at this point, but Toby & Tysen spent the week before the 4th of July at Lake Powell. They had SO much fun and the sunburns were minimal, thankfully. After Lake Powell, they went to spend a week with Toby's parents in Ephraim/Manti and they had a blast there too. Audrey & I flew up the following week for our vacation in Utah - more pics to come, but for now, this is what happened while Toby & Tysen were away & Audrey & I were at home.

Toby & Tysen on the boat

Toby & his nephew Jaden kneeboarding

Tysen attempted to kneeboard with the help of Kenlynne. He didn't ever get up, but I was happy he tried

He had a ton of fun on the tube with Kenlynne though

They had a bit of wind one day while they were out on the lake. This is what the campsite looked like when they returned. Looks like fun, right?

While they were gone and Audrey & I were at home alone, I got a bit stir-crazy in the evenings after Audrey was in bed. These are the results of my boredom.

These are letters I made for our vaulted ceiling above our kitchen cabinets. They're about 2.5 feet tall paper mache letters I painted and then covered with crinkled tissue paper to make them textured before adding the embellishments

A closer look - it's hard to tell but there are little diamondy-crystal things on the corners of the letters to reflect the light

I also made wooden letters for Audrey's room. They're each covered in a different pink scrapbook paper and they hang from organza ribbon. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but they're super cute!

When I finished my literary endeavors, I moved on to redoing Tysen's room. I didn't take before pics but the green wall used to be red & blue stripes and he had Thomas the Train curtains & bedspread. Now it's a big boy room. I didn't tell him or Toby I was doing it so it was a surprise when we got home from Utah. And yes, Joanna, it's too much to ask that I clean up the room before taking a photo.

The wall opposite the green is painted blue and Kenlynne & I mounted big maps to backer board to hang on the wall. (Did you know there are stores where they sell nothing but maps? I had no idea. It was in 'the hood' but Kenlynne & I came out unscathed) Tysen is totally into geography and how to get places. He can get a person from our house to Wal-Mart, the mall, church, school, Audrey's babysitter, Kenlynne's house, my work, Toby's work, or the airport. He's our human GPS.

It wasn't all work for me while they were gone. Audrey & I spent the 4th with my cousin, Katie & her family in Queen Creek and had a great time eating & chatting

Rise & Shout

The Princeton Review just came out with their annual superlative listing for the nation's colleges. BYU ranked number one most socially conservative and states it as being 'largely religious'. Shocking . . . really.

I fail to understand your romantic nostalgia

We've been in AZ for 2 years now. Some days that feels like forever and other days it feels like a week. I especially miss Utah on days like the 24th. There are a lot of things I miss about living in Utah, but lots of things I love about living here. Here are some of the pros and cons of each in my eyes:

Utah:
Pro - family

Pro - friends

Pro - shorter summers with lower peak temperatures

Con - winter & snow

Pro - radio stations that play something besides hip-hop

Pro - our house, ward & neighborhood (I LOVED our house in UT)

Con - commuting to work for both me and Toby

Con - living far from shopping areas (even Wal-Mart was 20 minutes away)

Pro - my job (I miss Richards & Duckworth so bad)

Con - Toby's job (no teaching jobs open when he was looking)

Pro - BYU sports (that one is for Toby)

Pro - cheap restaurants

Con - lower paying jobs


Arizona:
Pro - living by Kenlynne & her family

Con - not living by any other family

Pro - our house, ward & neighborhood (I also LOVE our house here)

Pro - excellent school for the kids

Con - all the radio stations only play hip hop

Con - HOT summers

Pro - fantastic "winters" with 60 degree weather

Pro - my job (love it!)

Pro - Toby's job

Pro - decent salaries

Pro - short commute (we live 3 miles from my work)

Con - no BYU sports (but not to worry, we upgrade directv so he gets 'The Mountain')

Pro - year-round golfing

Con - Toby has to miss out on fresh tomatoes from parents' gardens

Con - neither of us speak Spanish so ordering at a drive-thru is challenging

Pro - our yard (our yard in SF was pretty pathetically small)

Con - mowing the yard when it's 115 degrees (Toby's problem of course - as though I even know how to start a lawn mower)

Pro - we're minutes away from any shopping we could ever want to do

Pro - a house that's completely finished (no basement to worry about finishing)

Pro - an HOA that actually waters & mows the grass and keeps things looking nice

Pro - the cities & streets are always kept up and nice (no haggard-looking neighborhoods nearby)

Pro - all the speed limits are 45 MPH on main roads (no guessing & getting tickets)

Con - the snow birds (aka old people who don't know how to drive that come here in the winter)


Bottom line: despite the distance from the majority of family, we really love living here - but there are times we really miss living in Utah too. Overall I'd say we're content - and that's not a bad place to be in life.