Thursday, August 13, 2009

Our personal ad

No one really wanted to see pics from our vacation to Utah, right? Didn't think so.

If you read my random thoughts on facebook, you'll know I'm in the market for new friends. We've lived in AZ over 2 years now and the only people we hang out with is my SIL Kenlynne's family. We ADORE them, but they're likely getting sick of us calling twice a week, so I've decided we should probly branch out a little.

So, unbeknownst to my husband, we are going to begin dipping into the couples dating pool. And I don't mean that in a dirty way - we're not swingers or anything. But I consider making new couple friends as complicated as dating.

Think about it for a minute. I have to find a gal I enjoy talking with about various subject matter. To be honest, that's not that difficult since I like most people and I assume most people like me. Maybe I'm wrong, but for the sake of this post, we'll assume people generally don't think I'm totally heinous. So this step is the easy part.

Next, Toby has to be able to hang out with the gal's significant other, typically the husband. Again, Toby's a pretty easygoing guy so it's not that hard to find someone he likes to talk to. HOWEVER, Toby is what I would call antisocial. I'm a people person. Toby . . . not so much. I look forward to getting together with friends on the weekends. He doesn't. I would love to have parties at our house twice a month. He'd rather be shot. Anytime we do go anywhere or have people over (which is rare) he does enjoy it, but it's like pulling teeth to get him to agree with the plan in the first place. It's a little tricky. But pretty much anyone who can even remotely be bothered to watch a BYU game, he's all for.

Beyond that hurdle, I have to at least tolerate being around the other guy and Toby has to think the other girl is not a total idiot. Meshing 4 personalities is surprisingly difficult. This is all before you even approach the topic of finding things to do together that you all enjoy and doesn't cost a ton of money because, let's face it, who has the money to go out and do elaborate things each week. And, if you're not on a similar economic footing, it gets more complicated because if the other couple is rolling in the dough, we will feel like idiots for having what I would call an average income.

So, after I like the girl and Toby likes the guy, and I like the guy and Toby likes the girl, and I get Toby to leave the house or get him to unbarricade the front door for 10 minutes to let people in, and we all find something to do that we enjoy that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and the other couple doesn't make 6+ figures a year, THEN you have to factor in children. Our kids go to bed at 8 and then I'm on house arrest. They need to go to bed at 8 and so that's what we do. I, however, do not need to go to bed at 8. Furthermore, everyone else who has kids is pretty much out of commission after the 8:00 mark too.

So then, if you find the TIME to do something you previously determined you all enjoy that doesn't cost a lot of money, and it can happen before 8 pm, it's helpful if the other couple has kids the same or similar ages to my kids. If Tysen's bored, it ain't pretty. So now, we add 2 more people (my kids) and some other number of kids (the other couple's kids) to the list of humans that need to get along with one another and co-mingle in a positive way.

Seriously, this is too much work. So, if you're interested in us as couple friends, here's our personals ad for couple's dating:

MWC (married white couple) seeking CILTR (couple in long term relationship, marriage not a prerequisite) W~2K (with approximately 2 kids) preferred. We enjoy pina coladas (virgin) and long walks on the beach. We don't do stuff on Sundays (being Mormon and all). We're into sports, especially BYU football, but nearly any sport will do (and NASCAR is not a sport under our definitions) University of Utah fans need not call. Must be able to handle strong sarcastic undertones to nearly every communication. Good sense of humor required. For a good time call Emily's phone (cuz we all know Toby won't answer)

14 comments:

The Voshells said...

Emily you make me smile! If we lived in AZ or you lived here in Vegas we would be a match made in heaven. Oh sorry, 'couple' made in heaven. Except for the U of U and NASCAR cracks...no comment on that! :)

beth said...

dang girl if only i had an EC (Eternal Companion) I would TOtally reply to your add!

Haylee said...

I am so replying to your add.....only, we aren't in Arizona!! LOVE IT! Let me know how it works out, because I'm in the market for new friends too :)

Heidi Noel said...

We have moved around A LOT! We have tried making friends many ways and we have found one way that works best for us.

We invite people from the ward over to our house on Sunday evenings (because it is a relatively calm day and it is easiest) for games and root beer floats or dessert. We started this to get to know the people we were working with in various callings (ie Young Women, Primary, scouts etc.) Even if they don't have kids they are pretty tolerant of ours because they have likely been exposed to many, being LDS and all. :) This way you to get to know people first before committing to a long evening doing something you are not sure if you enjoy. Many times we don't get to games, and just chat. (Not drinking or partying has put a dampener on other couple relationships we have tried.)

I am a lot like Toby and so is my husband, so we had to force ourselves to do something or become hermits. Sorry if I am over stepping the comment boundaries, but it has worked for us. Nice to catch up on your life by the way.

Grant and Candice said...

It really is that complicated isn't it? And were apparently out of the question...sorry! Go Utes!

Jodie said...

Oh, do I wish I lived in Arizona! I think we'd be the perfect match! :) This post had me rolling, Emily. I had to read it aloud to Bennett so we could both laugh together. Your ad explains perfectly why I'm happy as a clam sitting home on the weekends by ourselves! :)

Marci Jolley said...

That is the funniest thing I have ever read!!! My husband hates making new friends, which is totally opposite of me!! AZ sucks huh?!!?! Lets go back to UT!

PJ said...

This is so cool! You have the best hair stylist! It's great to hear from you....I'll never forget little Tyson... mainly because I've tried to throw the little rocks he gave me away a million times and just can't do it. I'm either psycho or vehemently opposed to throwing rocks.
Either way...you look good (obviously) and congrats on the little girl. ~rosemary

Rob & Autum said...

That is so funny that you put that because Rob and I feel the same way! I always thought I could make friends pretty easily but when you are married with kids, it is HARD! I wish we lived closer, except I am more like Toby, with a little bit of you, and I only have one child, but I'd be willing to adopt if thats what it takes..ha ha. Good Luck with the Friend Dating!

Are you going to be able to go to the 10 year? I am trying to talk Rob into it. I think it would be fun, and a little awkward to meet all you fellow bloggers in person!

The Greenwoods said...

Love your ad! If we only lived in AZ still--we would TOTALLY apply for the position! Wish we were closer to you guys. For some odd reason--we never hung out while in Arizona, which is really too bad, because I'm a ton of fun--damnit! Just kidding! Best of luck with your new friend search! (I might need to do my own add--Andy's pretty sick of hanging out constantly with the Yamamotos!)

Melodie Anne said...

I love reading your blog! You are hysterical.

Jayme said...

If we could just get you and Marci to move back to Utah... you wouldn't have to blog shop for couples to date! ;) Get one it! People need their taxes done here too!

way funny ad!

joanna said...

I'm a little late commenting . . . I haven't been "a-blogging" for a few weeks so I'm missing everyones' posts. I am totally with you on this. In the last 5 years that Kris & I have been married, we have had LOTS of fallings-out with SEVERAL other married couples for one or more of the problems you mentioned - different reasons for everyone - but I think the bottom line was that other couples were just psycho. We finally found our "Go-To" couple here in Indianapolis and wouldn't you know it - they are only here until the husband/dad graduates from law school and then who knows where they will live PLUS they will be waaaay out of our salary range if you know what I mean, unless Kris gets his a$$ back to grad school ay-sap. OK, so they have two kids OLDER than Alex but he's BIGGER than their youngest. So if they come over to our house at night, their kids (ages 6 and 4) will play and be quiet, while Alex goes to bed -- PERFECT! We can still stay up late and watch movies or whatever and Alex can stay out of our hair. This limits us to our own home, but we can still go other places during the day on weekends. So I would even suggest that your couple friends can have kids different ages if they have sleep schedules slightly different from your kids. I totally get the 8:00 rule. Kris keeps wanting me to extend that out on the weekends, and I'm like, "You want a screaming monster on our hands? ...Oh, yeah - he only claws at MY shirt when he's tired."

These friends of ours are like needles in a haystack. I just hope after they move away in 2 years we find another couple - or else we can threaten them with their lives and they will stay in the area. I'm also hoping we can keep them as friends past a few more weeks, which is usually our limit.

Nate and Karen said...

Hahahahah I can't stop laughing!! That is hilarous! Wish we lived closer so we could hang out! We need friends too!