The best new show on television

There are so many reason I love Glee. Here are a couple of them:


'Glee' Clip: Single Ladies


'Glee' Sneak Peek: Gold Digger

Seriously, who wouldn't love this show. It's freaking HILARIOUS!

The RM

In this case, I'm referring the the concept of the "Random Memory". I have these rather often. Out of the blue, I'll remember something that the file folders in my brain held onto over the years and decided to spew out without notice. I've always thought "hey, I should write that down" but I never do, so now I'm going to blog them. And so I bring you the story I like to call The Sack of Love.

It was fall of the year 2000. I was in college at Snow and one of my closest friends from childhood had also come to Snow. We'll call her Angie (name has been changed). One evening, Angie's roommate called me at home (still lived with the 'rents at the time) and said there was something terribly wrong and I had to come right away. Sensing something serious, I told my mom and dad and we all jumped in dad's car to drive to Angie's apartment.

I walked into Angie's room and saw her writhing on the floor in pain. Bad . . . really bad. She told us she was having excruciating pain in her abdomen. Then, trying to downplay the situation, she said "oh, it's not that bad" and tried to stand up. She let out a shriek and was back on the floor in less than a second. Again, bad . . . really bad.

My dad picked her up, put her in the car and we drove her to the hospital 30 minutes away. For some reason, I also remember that another of Angie's roommates had a radio show on the college radio station and her show was on during our drive. She was playing the Spice Girls. Not an integral part of the story, but hey, it's my memory and I'll remember whatever I want.

We get to the hospital in Gunnison and Dr. Inoye (selling?) was working in the ER that night. For those of you not from Sanpete County, Dr. Inoye is an extremely intelligent and efficient physician, but his bedside manner is, well, crappy. Smiles from Dr. Inoye? Not so much.

So we get her checked in, my mom called her parents, etc. They did an X-ray of her abdomen and we waited a while. She was all in her gown and everything and, as was customary for Angie and I, we were keeping things light and not serious even though we felt like something was really wrong. They were talking about her appendix, spleen, cysts, performing ultrasounds, MRI's, all kinds of stuff.

Eventually, Dr. Inoye comes back . . . with a smile. Wha??? We're waiting intentfully for the dire news, when he explains, while trying desperately to keep a strait face and stifle his laughter, that Angie is just constipated. He even showed us the evidence on the X-ray. Never knew poop would show up on one of those. CONSTIPATED?!?!?! Are you freaking kidding me? All this hullabaloo for a bowel movement? We all burst into laughter. Well, all except Angie who was still in a great deal of pain.

The doctor explained that the only way to relieve her symptoms is for her to go, if you know what I mean. So the nurse wheels in one of those attractive portable thrones and proceeds to set up for a "procedure". Angie is asking what's going on and the nurse explains she will be giving Angie and enema. To which Angie responds "Oh, no, honey. I'm sure you don't get paid enough to have to stick that thing where it needs to go. Why don't you take a little break. My friend, Emily, will help me out with that." WHAT?!?!?! I thought she was joking. She wasn't.

We proceed into the restroom (she also didn't want to do it in the porta-john), which luckily are good sized in hospitals. Angie is holding whatever it is that gets inserted, and I'm holding a ginormous bag of saline which is attached to what she's holding. The nurse showed me the line on the bag where it should be emptied to before we were finished. Gee, thanks. The doctor is hanging around outside the door, I'm sure wondering just what kind of close "friendship" we had going on.

As the "procedure" progressed, I was, as mentioned before, holding the saline sack. There were various noises coming from a number of Angie's orifices and we both could not contain our laughter. Apparently, whenever I laughed, I would inadvertently squeeze the sack, which would make Angie squeal, which would make me laugh, which would make me squeeze the bag some more, which would make Angie scream, and so forth. Seriously, it was freaking hilarious. I wished there had been two potties in the restroom because I nearly peed my pants laughing so hard.

Suffice it to say, the "procedure" did what it was meant to do, my mom and dad took care of the paperwork, Angie stuffed her pride in her "personal belongings" bag, I had a great story to share, and we made it home.

And that, my friends, is the Sack of Love story. Because, had I not loved Angie enough, I never would have been in the bathroom with her holding the enema saline sack.

Have you ever gone above and beyond (or below and beyond, as the case may be) for a friend?

Never say never

My 10 year high school reunion is next weekend. I'll spare you doing the complicated mathematics - that means I'm 28 years old. For some reason, having a reminder of how long it's been since I was a minor makes me remember of all the thinks I thought I would accomplish at that age. And, surprisingly, there are many things on my end-of-high-school-life's-to-do-list that I have been able to accomplish.

There's also that informal list I always kept filed away in the recesses of my brain of things I would NEVER EVER do. But let's be honest, I've done them. So here is the Reader's Digest version of the list of things that as recently as 10 years ago I said I'd never do and now I have.

I said I'd never . . .

• get fat (what's this 'exercising' you speak of?)
• yell at my kids (alright, I'm not the perfect mom as you all believed)
• have my kids behave badly at the grocery store (obviously, my kids aren't perfect either, dang it)
• yell at my husband (no one in this house is perfect)
• tell my husband I wanted to kill him (with only the most affectionate use of sarcasm, of course)
• let my kids wear 'crocs' (I still think they're fugly, but the kids love 'em & they're cheap so I've caved)
• stop coloring my hair lighter (it's SOOO dark against my transparently white skin when it's the natural color, which I've now gone back to)
• take an accounting class (how lame do you have to be to take accounting . . . oh, wait)
• wait for/write to a missionary (kinda, sorta, we're going with it)
• learn to like Ikea (yes, I've converted - darn those great prices!)
• purchase clothing at Wal-Mart (come on, we've all done it)
• move away from my parents (anyone remember that apartment my dad paid for for an entire school year that I refused to move into in college? good times)
• have any need for products like Metamucil & Preparation H (come on mommies, don't pretend you don't know what I talkin' about)
• go more than 2 days without shaving my legs (as long as it's not long enough to braid, I don't see an issue)
• be super paranoid about safety & security like my mom (totally, totally guilty - it's normal to check the locks 18 times each night, right?)
• live somewhere hot (Toby told me Phoenix was only mildly warmish)
• can my own fruit, salsa, sauces, etc. (isn't that something grandmas do?)

Anyone else fail to live up to your "I Said I'd Never"s?

Our personal ad

No one really wanted to see pics from our vacation to Utah, right? Didn't think so.

If you read my random thoughts on facebook, you'll know I'm in the market for new friends. We've lived in AZ over 2 years now and the only people we hang out with is my SIL Kenlynne's family. We ADORE them, but they're likely getting sick of us calling twice a week, so I've decided we should probly branch out a little.

So, unbeknownst to my husband, we are going to begin dipping into the couples dating pool. And I don't mean that in a dirty way - we're not swingers or anything. But I consider making new couple friends as complicated as dating.

Think about it for a minute. I have to find a gal I enjoy talking with about various subject matter. To be honest, that's not that difficult since I like most people and I assume most people like me. Maybe I'm wrong, but for the sake of this post, we'll assume people generally don't think I'm totally heinous. So this step is the easy part.

Next, Toby has to be able to hang out with the gal's significant other, typically the husband. Again, Toby's a pretty easygoing guy so it's not that hard to find someone he likes to talk to. HOWEVER, Toby is what I would call antisocial. I'm a people person. Toby . . . not so much. I look forward to getting together with friends on the weekends. He doesn't. I would love to have parties at our house twice a month. He'd rather be shot. Anytime we do go anywhere or have people over (which is rare) he does enjoy it, but it's like pulling teeth to get him to agree with the plan in the first place. It's a little tricky. But pretty much anyone who can even remotely be bothered to watch a BYU game, he's all for.

Beyond that hurdle, I have to at least tolerate being around the other guy and Toby has to think the other girl is not a total idiot. Meshing 4 personalities is surprisingly difficult. This is all before you even approach the topic of finding things to do together that you all enjoy and doesn't cost a ton of money because, let's face it, who has the money to go out and do elaborate things each week. And, if you're not on a similar economic footing, it gets more complicated because if the other couple is rolling in the dough, we will feel like idiots for having what I would call an average income.

So, after I like the girl and Toby likes the guy, and I like the guy and Toby likes the girl, and I get Toby to leave the house or get him to unbarricade the front door for 10 minutes to let people in, and we all find something to do that we enjoy that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and the other couple doesn't make 6+ figures a year, THEN you have to factor in children. Our kids go to bed at 8 and then I'm on house arrest. They need to go to bed at 8 and so that's what we do. I, however, do not need to go to bed at 8. Furthermore, everyone else who has kids is pretty much out of commission after the 8:00 mark too.

So then, if you find the TIME to do something you previously determined you all enjoy that doesn't cost a lot of money, and it can happen before 8 pm, it's helpful if the other couple has kids the same or similar ages to my kids. If Tysen's bored, it ain't pretty. So now, we add 2 more people (my kids) and some other number of kids (the other couple's kids) to the list of humans that need to get along with one another and co-mingle in a positive way.

Seriously, this is too much work. So, if you're interested in us as couple friends, here's our personals ad for couple's dating:

MWC (married white couple) seeking CILTR (couple in long term relationship, marriage not a prerequisite) W~2K (with approximately 2 kids) preferred. We enjoy pina coladas (virgin) and long walks on the beach. We don't do stuff on Sundays (being Mormon and all). We're into sports, especially BYU football, but nearly any sport will do (and NASCAR is not a sport under our definitions) University of Utah fans need not call. Must be able to handle strong sarcastic undertones to nearly every communication. Good sense of humor required. For a good time call Emily's phone (cuz we all know Toby won't answer)

I got to take myself a permanent vacation

It's long overdue at this point, but Toby & Tysen spent the week before the 4th of July at Lake Powell. They had SO much fun and the sunburns were minimal, thankfully. After Lake Powell, they went to spend a week with Toby's parents in Ephraim/Manti and they had a blast there too. Audrey & I flew up the following week for our vacation in Utah - more pics to come, but for now, this is what happened while Toby & Tysen were away & Audrey & I were at home.

Toby & Tysen on the boat

Toby & his nephew Jaden kneeboarding

Tysen attempted to kneeboard with the help of Kenlynne. He didn't ever get up, but I was happy he tried

He had a ton of fun on the tube with Kenlynne though

They had a bit of wind one day while they were out on the lake. This is what the campsite looked like when they returned. Looks like fun, right?

While they were gone and Audrey & I were at home alone, I got a bit stir-crazy in the evenings after Audrey was in bed. These are the results of my boredom.

These are letters I made for our vaulted ceiling above our kitchen cabinets. They're about 2.5 feet tall paper mache letters I painted and then covered with crinkled tissue paper to make them textured before adding the embellishments

A closer look - it's hard to tell but there are little diamondy-crystal things on the corners of the letters to reflect the light

I also made wooden letters for Audrey's room. They're each covered in a different pink scrapbook paper and they hang from organza ribbon. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but they're super cute!

When I finished my literary endeavors, I moved on to redoing Tysen's room. I didn't take before pics but the green wall used to be red & blue stripes and he had Thomas the Train curtains & bedspread. Now it's a big boy room. I didn't tell him or Toby I was doing it so it was a surprise when we got home from Utah. And yes, Joanna, it's too much to ask that I clean up the room before taking a photo.

The wall opposite the green is painted blue and Kenlynne & I mounted big maps to backer board to hang on the wall. (Did you know there are stores where they sell nothing but maps? I had no idea. It was in 'the hood' but Kenlynne & I came out unscathed) Tysen is totally into geography and how to get places. He can get a person from our house to Wal-Mart, the mall, church, school, Audrey's babysitter, Kenlynne's house, my work, Toby's work, or the airport. He's our human GPS.

It wasn't all work for me while they were gone. Audrey & I spent the 4th with my cousin, Katie & her family in Queen Creek and had a great time eating & chatting

Rise & Shout

The Princeton Review just came out with their annual superlative listing for the nation's colleges. BYU ranked number one most socially conservative and states it as being 'largely religious'. Shocking . . . really.

I fail to understand your romantic nostalgia

We've been in AZ for 2 years now. Some days that feels like forever and other days it feels like a week. I especially miss Utah on days like the 24th. There are a lot of things I miss about living in Utah, but lots of things I love about living here. Here are some of the pros and cons of each in my eyes:

Utah:
Pro - family

Pro - friends

Pro - shorter summers with lower peak temperatures

Con - winter & snow

Pro - radio stations that play something besides hip-hop

Pro - our house, ward & neighborhood (I LOVED our house in UT)

Con - commuting to work for both me and Toby

Con - living far from shopping areas (even Wal-Mart was 20 minutes away)

Pro - my job (I miss Richards & Duckworth so bad)

Con - Toby's job (no teaching jobs open when he was looking)

Pro - BYU sports (that one is for Toby)

Pro - cheap restaurants

Con - lower paying jobs


Arizona:
Pro - living by Kenlynne & her family

Con - not living by any other family

Pro - our house, ward & neighborhood (I also LOVE our house here)

Pro - excellent school for the kids

Con - all the radio stations only play hip hop

Con - HOT summers

Pro - fantastic "winters" with 60 degree weather

Pro - my job (love it!)

Pro - Toby's job

Pro - decent salaries

Pro - short commute (we live 3 miles from my work)

Con - no BYU sports (but not to worry, we upgrade directv so he gets 'The Mountain')

Pro - year-round golfing

Con - Toby has to miss out on fresh tomatoes from parents' gardens

Con - neither of us speak Spanish so ordering at a drive-thru is challenging

Pro - our yard (our yard in SF was pretty pathetically small)

Con - mowing the yard when it's 115 degrees (Toby's problem of course - as though I even know how to start a lawn mower)

Pro - we're minutes away from any shopping we could ever want to do

Pro - a house that's completely finished (no basement to worry about finishing)

Pro - an HOA that actually waters & mows the grass and keeps things looking nice

Pro - the cities & streets are always kept up and nice (no haggard-looking neighborhoods nearby)

Pro - all the speed limits are 45 MPH on main roads (no guessing & getting tickets)

Con - the snow birds (aka old people who don't know how to drive that come here in the winter)


Bottom line: despite the distance from the majority of family, we really love living here - but there are times we really miss living in Utah too. Overall I'd say we're content - and that's not a bad place to be in life.

Manti High Class of 99 Reunion

This is from the facebook group for our class posted by Margaret Burnham. Just FYI

Ok-it's finalized! Manti High School Class of '99 10 year reunion. Manti City Park 200 N. 300 W. East Pavilion (by playground). Saturday, September 5, 2009 at 12pm. Significant others and children welcome. BBQ/potluck. No formal invites will be sent so pass this on and let everyone know! If people do want to RSVP, they can post it on the class group page...

The whole family tree is full of lunatics

Each year, all the women on my dad's side of the family goes away for a weekend together for what we affectionately refer to as "Day Girl's Retreat". There are not words sufficient to describe the madness, chaos, and riotousness that ensues. Anywhere from 60-80 people attend and ages range from 18 to half dead. It's a delight each summer and this year was no exception. This year it was in St. George and Joanna couldn't make it (missed you Jo!) so it was me, mom and Mary. We ate too much, stayed up too late, spent too much money shopping - all the overindulgence we could handle. It was superb.

The first night we had to make up a jingle to promote Day Girls and at the end of ours we did some killer spirit fingers with a drop down into the dead arm, a la Bring it On (a must-see movie) Jodie, do you have a question?

The Ross Day Family representin'

Some of our overeating at the super yummy Brazilian steakhouse

We went to see Footloose at Tuachan. The theater was amazingly beautiful.

The star (Kevin Bacon's character) was played by Thayne Jasperson of So You Think You Can Dance. I LOVE that show and was totally star-struck. I turned into a 12 year old at the very mention of his name all evening. And here I am with his arm around me! Be still my heart! No idea who the chick is - whatever.

Evidence of the overspending that happened. My idea of a good time? SHOPPING!!!

My mom, me & Mary

Seriously, it was AWESOME!!!

Things that sucked this week

1) Buying a new pair of cute capris, getting them home, washing them (I insist on washing everything before I wear it) and noticing the first time I wear them that the zipper absolutely, positively will NOT stay up. I'll probably wear them anyway. If you see me in jean capris and my zipper is down, please pretend you didn't notice.

2) Costco at 6 pm on the 3rd of July.

Have a happy 4th!